Are You Serious?!

Last night I was reading my scriptures, yes I have been the past month!! Anyway I was just finishing up and told Hola to put in a movie to watch before bed and the next thing I know he's crawling under the covers and peeks his head out, only his big brown puppy dog eyes leering out of the blanket and says, 'Mom, can you put in a movie, I'm busy!' I laughed and asked him what he was busy doing and he said, 'Um just playing with my toys and laying down plus you're closer, I mean it's only a step away!' ha ha the whole time he's talking I couldn't help but think are you kidding me? Where and when did this little boy become so smart?! His little phrases, smart alec remarks, and responses kill me! I seriously see so much of my brother in him. Just they way they know how to get their way! My brother was always finding ways to get what he wanted and pulling what I call 'sponsers'!! He never really bought things because girls for some odd reason were always buying him things and food, what a joke, but I can totally see Hola following in his footsteps! They are charmers and I'd have to admit I am a sucker. Hola knows how to play the cute card with me which makes it hard for me to discipline him. His dad Ben says I'm soft but Hola's my baby and I can't help but want to give him any and everything! He cracks me up and I never thought hanging out with a four year old would be as enjoyable as it has been. He keeps me on my toes and we always find ways to entertain ourselves!

Progress

Since I had Hola I've done a lot of things that I would not consider the greatest but I have no regrets. I feel like the last five years of my life I have done things that contradict my morals and beliefs. Needless to say after meeting Nate and he being a return missionary and being an active member, I feel like I have that push I've always needed to get my life back in order, back to what I've always seen it would be when growing up. I read a friend's blog, actually the person who invited me to be a blogger, and she was talking about people who judge and being judged and I thought of so many reasons why I had left and stopped going to church but then I realized people will be people, we are only human but the church will never change, it's truthfulness will always be. Shame on me for being so quick to anger and for feeling so offended by such dumb words spoken by the mouths of those who aren't perfect, those who are just like me! In this realization I am forced to see that once again it was a lesson learned, another piece to my puzzle, to my story! When all is said and done what was said is in the past, what I've done, my mistakes, my wrong-doings, have made me who I am, have strenghtened me as an individual and have helped mold who I want to be as a companion, a mother, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I am continually thankful for my life's lessons, my crazy, wild yet oh so thoughtful and loving family, and my amazing, wonderful friends!! My time is precious and there seems to never be enough hours in the day to do what I want and need but it's nice to know that there are always great people to surround me and help me make use of what time I have! Thank you!

Life's Blessings!

I thought I'd try this blogging thing out so bear with me! The past month I've been the happiest I've been in a really long time. I am blessed with the greatest son and surrounded by the most amazing people! I have my health, well most of it, a roof over my head, and food in my belly, what more could I ask for? It ceases to never amaze me that I can continually think of so many things that I can thank my lucky stars for! For as much bad as I think I get myself in twice as much good comes out of every situation I am faced. Things with Nate continue to go great. He makes me happy and is always challenging my abilities great and small. He tries my patience and comes out victorious when I am quick to anger! Ha ha what a sucker I've become! Everyday I feel like I am becoming a better person. His being, his very presence gives me a sense of security, hope, and faith of what may come and what our future may look like. I love the fact that we don't have to spend every waking second with each other because in the end I know where his heart is, and that is with me!! Man, talk about soft!! Ha ha I feel truly blessed that Nate treats my son with so much kindness. I know relationships are hard but putting a child in the equation and one that is not your own, it takes a really genuine person to see past the excess baggage. I know everyone comes with baggage but being a single mom, it is really hard to date and know that getting past the second date is my road block, that's where my ride stops, my road ends because most people don't want to deal with that, they see it as a burden and would rather not try. He's great in the fact that he doesn't care, he sees me for what I'm worth hola included! What more could I ask for, I am lucky!